Wednesday, October 4, 2017
My last blog post was titled Las Vegas a Second Home and Beating Heart. I went on my third trip in just months and returned to Australia to more things to do than imaginable and simply didn't update on my trip or happenings. It seems instead the universe has me putting my personal thoughts out on my second home and beating heart and the tragic events that just happened. I know I am just another post, another opinion, another cry, but, it is my pain and my condolences and my second home and me that wants to express how I feel, my initial thoughts and responses and, so, I am. As I do.
I was sitting at my mothers house with my sister when the Las Vegas Shooting happened. I wasn't even on my phone! A miracle! My cousin came out and told me that an active Gun Man was at Mandalay Bay shooting people. My instant response was of course: PANIC! I suffer panic attacks, bad ones, thank fully it was only my mind going haywire! Without a second thought I started dialing one of my best friends, they didnt answer, it cut out strangely. Then I texted immediately that there was a gun man on the loose. The message didnt deliver. Only my brain would go into panic overdrive and think trampling, broken phone, shot. Though, reality is, this could have been the case.
My sister screamed to call again. I could feel the color faded from my face I started to think that this couldn't be happening and everyone was asleep and no one could be hurt. I didnt call again. I went on to message another. Then I felt my heart sink. It was reality, I wasnt there, people I know are going to be hurt or worse dead. Friends of friends are going to be hurt. You get the hint. My mind stops working properly when my heart is involved in tragedies where those I love are close by.
After what seemed thirty minutes, when it was only around 5-10 my phone rang! I have NEVER been so damn happy in my life to see a name appear on my phone! I can not express the feeling, the lifting weight, the tears that welded in my eyes to see the name on my screen and know that I could check that name off my list! They didnt know about it, they were asleep. No sooner they turned on their TV. The reality hit even harder. One by one my friends contacted me or marked themselves safe. I didnt sleep much through the night with texts, calls, messages all coming through to check I was ok.
I have nothing left to say except I am shattered that any person could inflict such terror and pain and to a group of innocent people in a place of love and freedom. A place I love, with people I love, to my second home. Nothing except my deepest, deepest sympathies to those that have lost loved ones, been hurt or traumatized and to those that have lost their lives, I can only send love to the heavens and my heart felt prayers.
Vegas, I love You.